My Promise to Me - Can I Keep It This Time?

Tomorrow is Saturday, January 26, 2019.

Today, I'm out of shape, I'm sore, I'm sick, I'm worn out, I'm sluggish.

Tomorrow I'll be all the same things I am today.

Tomorrow I just want to be a step or two closer to NOT being out of shape, sore, sick, worn out and sluggish.  I just got out of the bathtub.  I found out I couldn't really fit it in it.  Getting out was a struggle and I'm in actual pain now from getting myself out of that tub.  I'm way too fat.  I just weighed myself.  222 lbs.

My birthday was this past Monday, Jan 20.  I'm hoping I can use turning 48 at such an unhealthy weight and phase in my life into being the best 50-year-old me I can possibly be.  But I have some other goals I'd like to meet along the way.  In order to get there, I need to make some promises to myself.

This will be my 5 promises to me for every day.  Why?  Because I should be able to do this for myself.  Fuck the world, fuck the family.  I just don't want to be like this anymore.

1.  100 oz of water a day
2.  30 minutes of solid movement
3.  yoga / meditation
4.  eat what I need before I eat what I want
5.  my day planner

Let's see if I can do this.

Goal #1 - I want to be down to 200 lbs by April 30, 2019.  Once I can achieve that goal, we'll set up a new one for 190 lbs.  I ain't religious......but god help me.  LOL

I'm hoping that not just focusing on the weight loss will happen eventually.  But I feel like I'm always in pain and sluggish because of all the weight.  The movement and yoga and eating healthy will undoubtedly improve my overall health.......maybe it'll help with this funk I've been in for the last few months.  I need goals.  I'm listless and tired of myself.  New me, new tomorrow.....blah blah blah.  Fuck that.  I won't spend so much time whining......just get up and do it.......you know.....like Nike says. 

PrettyUnlimited - Episode 23: The Secret Life of (Davenport) Pets

After surviving the Tipsycast, Anna and Khris spoke about their extended family...of pets! Get brief histories and hilarious stories about the dogs and cats that have marked moments in our lives.

The Pretty Unlimited theme music was produced by Rediculus for Platformz Music. 

Film Review ~ Green Book 2018 (Spoilers and Commentary Ahead)

FYI - all of my reviews are done while watching the movie........sort of a play by play.

Green Book (2018) stars Mahershala Ali and Viggo Mortensen as a classical pianist who is black and a bouncer turned driver who is Italian.  It's based on the book The Negro Motorist Green Book.  This true story from the perspective of the driver (Tony Vallelonga) as passed down to his son, Nick.   Tony takes a job to drive for Don Shirley.

So going into this movie, that's about all I knew.  And though I'd heard of Mahershala Ali, I've never seen him in anything before this movie.  I'd never heard of the story or of Viggo, either.  I like seeing new talent for the first time and anything that starts off "based on a true story" is always a favorite.



And roll em'!

Opening the story, it's obvious that Tony is racist as all hell.  Two maintenance workers are in his home doing repair work.  Tony's wife offers them a drink as a thank you for their work and then they leave.  Tony can do nothing but eye the two drinking glasses over and over.  Eventually, he picks them up in disgust and throws them in the trash.  Why?  The two workers are black.  Then his family sits down to dinner beginning with a family prayer.  Very much a hypocrite.

The Interview - Tony has no job for the next two months and needs work as he's got a family to support.  He hears of a job and goes to check it out.  In doing so, he's thrown a curve ball to realize that he'd be working for a black man.  He lies about his views (duh) on black people.  Dr. Shirley is not impressed but he needs someone to protect him as well as drive while on tour in the deep south during the 1960s.

Obviously, he gets the job.

30:45 into the movie - Tony is still an asshole.  Oh, and he doesn't know to just shut the fuck up. His bubble is very small that he lives his life in.  He's so busy spouting off his own opinions as though they're facts.

38:42 into the movie - Oh My Goodness. The first time we're able to hear his music.  So dramatic.  It pulls at your emotions until you find yourself lost.  Even Tony is humbled.

Tony and Dr. Shirley are in the car listening to the radio.  It's astounding to Tony that while the Dr. has heard of these singers, Dr. Shirley has never listened to them.  Aretha Franklin, Sam Cooke, Little Richard, Chuck Berry.  Tony says "these are your people" to the Dr.  It makes you realize that while he's a prominent, successful pianist, he's probably lonely.  No one looks like him, no one plays like him, no one really talks to him as a friend.  Lessons are beginning on both sides of this relationship.

48:00 into the movie - Tony defends the hell out of the Dr.'s contract to play on a Steinway.  SLAP!!!!

LMAO - KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN (restaurant) IN THE STATE OF KENTUCKY!!!  (Why is this so damn funny to me?

1:12:00 into the movie.  I think more and more Tony is beginning to realize just a bit of what a black man needs to deal with just to get through each day.

1:22:00 into the movie.  I wonder if Tony will ever realize how much better his marriage will be because of the letters that the Dr. has helped him write to his wife during this tour.  I hope he's grateful.

The end of the movie.  It ends with smiles and gratitude and new beginnings.

I was initially going to say that this movie was not special because it felt very typical of any movie where race is the underlying lesson. But it is special.  Not because it's a movie but because this was the lives of two men and the building of their relationship.  Maybe I should say friendship.  They did have something tangible and real.  It stood the test of time.

One of the things that shocked me the most was learning of Sundown Towns.  Click the link so you can learn how fucked up our country IS.....not was......this is still happening today.  Read it.  Then ask yourself why more people don't hate us all.  One of those moments where being ashamed to be white hit me very hard.

Things I took away from this story.
There is no big moment of epiphany in this movie.  There is one scene where the Dr. just can't take Tony's ASSumptions anymore.  He asks him.......if I'm not black enough, not white enough, not man enough.....where do I fit in?  This movie seems to be about a relationship that would never have been possible without this tour.  Two men with little in common finding that they don't need common ground to find respect and understanding.  They've built a life long friendship based on honesty, integrity and in just learning about someone much different from themselves.

The reality, it's really showcasing the lonely life of an intelligent, talented, gay, alcoholic, black man who has no one.  No one to share anything with ever.  Imagine that for a moment.  Close your eyes.  Picture your life with no one around you.  No family.  No friends.  No one that looks like you.  No one that shares your interest.  No one to confide in.  No one that confides in you.  No one to say hello, good morning, good night, I'm lonely.  Just no one.

There's mention of a moment 6 years prior to this tour, that Nat King Cole was asked to perform.  He would be the first black man to be invited to perform in Birmingham, AL ever.  Here's the result.

Dr. Shirley was a special man with enormous talent.  Tony was NOT a special man until he learned to accept Dr. Shirley........and to enjoy the person he became in this process.

Genius is not enough.  It takes courage to change people's hearts.

Here's the Trailer!  Enjoy!!!  I give it a solid 4 shots out of 5.

The Time Between the Golden Globes and the Oscars 2019

I'm in the go-between time of the Golden Globes and the Oscars where I'm realizing all the movies and tv shows I never bothered to watch are up for awards.  I've decided to watch one movie/show per day (that might be too much, right?) and review each one.  There are two reasons I'm doing this.

The first reason is there are so many important things to watch.  Shows with a great message, maybe some lessons on how to improve how we live our lives.  Or many just how we view the world outside our own little bubble.  So few of us actually live outside of a bubble, but I don't think we really take the time to reflect on it.  Reflection brings guilt.  Guilt for things we just can't change........and guilt for things we could change but are just too uninclined to be bothered with.

The second reason is that there will likely be more Google searches going on over the next month or two and maybe one or two new readers would come across this page and feel that what I say might not be important, but at least it'll (hopefully) be entertaining.

Here's my list.  I took a peek at the Golden Globes website for these picks.  My goal is to watch everything that was nominated including those shows/movies that weren't nominated but had a participant (actor, writer, production, etc) nominated for working on that project.  (HOLY SHIT THIS LIST IS LONG!!!!)

Movies & TV Shows
Green Book
Vice
The Favourite
*Mary Poppins Returns (seen it - review coming soon)
*Crazy, Rich Asians (seen it - review coming soon)
Bohemian Rhapsody
Black Panther
BlacKKKlansman
If Beale Street Could Talk
A Star is Born
The Wife
A Private War
Destroyer
Can You Forgive Me?
At Eternity's Gate
Boy Erased
Eighth Grade
Tully
The Old Man and The Gun
Stan & Ollie
First Man
Beautiful Boy
Roma
Shoplifters
Spiderman: Into The Spider-Verse
Incredibles 2 (might be a good time to watch the first one, huh?)
Isle of Dogs
Mirai
Ralph Breaks the Internet (here we have the one entry I don't want to watch since I hated the first one)
Capernaum
Girl
Never Look Away
A Quiet Place (my husband talks of this movie often)
*Dumplin (FUCKING LOVED IT!!!!!)
The Americans
Bodyguard
Homecoming
Killing Eve
Pose
The Kominsky Method
The Good Place
*Kidding
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Barry
American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace
The Alienist
Escape at Dannemora
Sharp Objects
A Very English Scandal
Dirty John
The Tale
Seven Seconds
Picasso: Genius
Patrick Melrose
Outlander
*The Handmaids Tale
The Americans
Ozark
Homecoming
GLOW
Will & Grace (nope, not happening.  I just never liked the show......ok, I'll try)
Murphy Brown
Who Is America?
*Atlanta
West World
Succession

Ok, a few of these I have actually seen.  Not many though.  I'll add an * in front of the ones I've seen.  I just need to do a review of them.  This might not go well.....I tend to dislike a lot of stuff.  Cross your fingers.  All total, this will take me over 100 hours to do this.  LOL - we'll see how it goes.  I've got the Women's March of NJ coming up in 11 days.........I'll just do the best I can and keep plugging away at it.  Up first?  Green Book.

Hungry! Yes! Wait? Am I?

Today is Monday, December 10.  It's my last day at work before my annual layoff.  Typically, I would be planning out my volunteer time which increases a lot over this time frame.  But, I left the leadership role I had in Art All Night - Trenton so I can concentrate on being available more for my son as he started middle school.  It was really the right choice because although he's doing well, he is needing a lot of help. 

This time though, I've decided to concentrate on me.  I want to use this time to see if I can get my weight down and make healthy improvements in my day to day existence.  Today's been pretty good.  I'm the only one at work so I used the time to sneak a work out into my day that wasn't planned.  Then I went for a walk at lunchtime.  I even did a 7-minute mini workout when I got back from that walk. 

(New goal.........skinnier shadow!!)

Now, I just finished lunch (3/4 of a cup of Panera Bread's baked potato soup).  I'm on my 7th cup of water.  And I feel like I'm hungry.  But I don't know if this is really I'm hungry or just I want to graze on something.  Or maybe this is from the walk?  I have no clue.  But I'm pushing through it right now by writing this instead of eating.  LOL, hopefully, this works. 

I'll wait until 3pm to eat the banana I brought for a mid-afternoon snack.  I might sneak a diet coke.....one of my favorite things to have.  I haven't had any soda in about 5 days.  I'm working on a set of specific goals for January and February.  Hoping I can get myself on point.  Realizing that snacking between meals is a big problem for me.  Now..........how do I fix it? 

PrettyUnlimited - Episode 11: The Halloween Spooktacular

Tis the season for ghost and goblins! In this special two-hour Halloween themed episode, we run through a number of Top Fives, from our favorite Movie and TV monsters to our favorite scary movies, creepy voices, Halloween candy and...serial killers? Keep the light on! 

Big shouts for the PrettyUnlimited theme music that was produced by Rediculus for Platformz Music.

PrettyUnlimited - Episode 09: Make Me Laugh

This week's episode is hilarious! Well, it's about things that we find hilarious. For fans of our top fives who also love comedy, get ready for our picks for the five funniest TV shows/specials we've ever seen!

The Pretty Unlimited theme music was produced by Rediculus for Platformz Music.

Weigh In Day (August 12, 2018)

Today is weigh in day! 204.1 lbs. Not too bad, but unfortunately, I drank and ate too much on vacation a few weeks back + I've been slacking on everything at home since then. So that's a loss of 2.5 lbs since last Sunday but it was just weight I had regained last month. I need to lose 1 more lb to be where I was before vacation. So here's the whole package:

204.1
Left Bicep 14.5 down .25"
Right Bicep 13.75 same
chest 44.25 down a full fucking inch!
belly 42 down a full inch!
hips 45 down a full inch!
left thigh - 26 same
right thigh - 26 same


Last week I half-assed my workouts. Part of it is laziness (most of it actually), part of it is knowing how sore I'm going to be (scaredy cat) and part of it is this fucking humidity (dripping sweat feels like bugs). Ugh. But it's mostly me being lazy. So this week, I'm setting up a plan in my calendar with what I want to do. I also downloaded Lose It! app to see if I like this one better for tracking my food and exercise.

Sunday - no workout but a fair amount of walking since I have errands to go do today. Plus I'm on my feet meal prepping for a couple of hours.

Monday/Wednesday/Friday - My strength training day - I'm going for the 3 rounds of my own workout that I made to target areas I need help with then I'm going to go use a strength training video that's on YouTube. Tons of free workouts all over YouTube.
Click here to see the workout I'll be doing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DrOlw2yEHc

Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday - Cardio days. I plan to go walking. One hour on this bridge next to my house. It's very steep on both sides. So I'm hoping to get out there for one solid hour each day REGARDLESS of the weather. I need to do this because we bought a treadmill (and an exercise bike) but we are still in the process of cleaning out our gross basement and can't put it down there yet. Once that's done, (about a month or so from now) we'll be able to get that space together for cardio and strength training. Our living room floor is too bouncy and me jumping around knocks things off of shelves. How fucked up does that sound?

Anyway, my only other goals for the week are to meet my calorie goals for the WEEK, drink 700 oz of water for the week, and to NOT eat and unhealthy snack before dinner all week. That's my weak moment, right when I get home from work, I'm starving. I have to reign that in. Good luck to all of you who are dealing with these struggles. The only challenge is me.

ELF Cosmetics (Eyes Lips Face) Series (1st)

I've been using ELF for about 5 years now and since I'm finally starting to get time to do my own thing, I thought it'd be a great way to talk about how much I love ELF, even if I'm not a fan of all the products.  And the prices are well worth letting me try out all the products I want to try.

Someone else helped me trip over ELF through a friend of a friend of a friend.  I don't even remember that chick's name.  Ah, well.  Online shopping is a favorite past time of mine so this was right up my alley from the rip.  Second, was that they don't use animals to test or any animal bits or pieces in their products.  Awesome!  I'm not a huge makeup purchaser since I've been trying to simplify my spending, space, routine and life in general.  But I'll be sharing my thoughts on the products I do buy.

Website - https://www.elfcosmetics.com/

First up!  Lips.  Ok, it might not be a good idea to start off with the negative shit but it is what it is.

Aqua Beauty Radiant Gel Lip Stain - Thoughts?  It's shit.

$4 ~ The color (I picked Dewy Berry) wasn't crazy bad but when I think stain I think of a vibrant color that's going to stay put.  I don't blame that on them as that was just my own personal thought.  But it does neither.  The color was more like a tint and the stain aspect just didn't happen for me.  It doesn't go on even either.  That drove me bonkers.  I mean, this is just stuff to smear on my lips so why doesn't it go on evenly and why is it purposely fighting me in my battle for an even coat?  WTF?  But all that aside..........it fucking tastes gross.  And the smell is just like the taste and right under my damn nose.  Ugh!  

Click here to see what it looks like so you won't make the same mistake I did.  

AQUA BEAUTY RADIANT GEL LIP STAIN 

Ok, that's it for today's lesson in stank ass stains.  I'll be looking for another stain through ELF when my next paycheck kicks in.  See ya later, alligator. 

Mistakes Push You Forward

July 5, 2018

Last night, I made the mistake of noticing a bruise on my ass that hadn't faded from a week or so ago.  So I thought I'd be cheeky (is ass-cheeky a thing?) and send my husband a cute picture of my ass.  BIG mistake.  I hadn't realized how icky I looked on my ass.  So I did the whole check myself out in the mirror thing.  WTF was I thinking!

The overall quality of my skin, the stretch marks, the fatness.  None of that is appealing.  Now I'm not a screwball so I'm aware that the stretch marks are here to stay and could even get worse during this journey.  But I'd like to be better toned and not have the percentage of body fat I'm currently carrying around.  For someone who hates to carry stuff, you'd think I'd be wanting to carry less around on my body, right? 

My back and ass are in really bad shape.  I knew it but I didn't know it was quite so bad. It was about 10pm at that point so I sat there and thought about it for a bit. I decided to restart again.  I went on to Sparkpeople.com, got myself logged on and set a calendar reminder for this morning to do weight and measurements along with a fitness test.  So here are my new goals. 

Adding in exercise water and vegetables daily.  30 minutes of exercise (might have to break that into sections) 8+ glasses of water and at least 3 veggies since I hardly ever eat any at all.  I feel like that's a good start for me.  Also, I'm going to push myself NOT to snack or eat sugar or salt that's not needed.  We'll see how this goes. 

Today's weight is 201.7 and my ass is 47 inches wide where that bruise is.  Holy fucking smacks!

My 11 year old son, Jayden, entered a contest to promote businesses in the city of Trenton, NJ. He's hoping to use the money if he wins for a class in coding. He picked his favorite spots and we made this video. If you have a moment and would like to help, please click this link. It'll take you to YouTube, once you view the video he made, please hit that Thumbs Up while on YouTube. The winner with the most thumbs ups wins! Thank you so much! 

Click here to help Jayden win:
Come On, Let's Hang Out In Trenton!

This is Jayden...attempting that dapper look.  LOL