Mistakes Push You Forward

July 5, 2018

Last night, I made the mistake of noticing a bruise on my ass that hadn't faded from a week or so ago.  So I thought I'd be cheeky (is ass-cheeky a thing?) and send my husband a cute picture of my ass.  BIG mistake.  I hadn't realized how icky I looked on my ass.  So I did the whole check myself out in the mirror thing.  WTF was I thinking!

The overall quality of my skin, the stretch marks, the fatness.  None of that is appealing.  Now I'm not a screwball so I'm aware that the stretch marks are here to stay and could even get worse during this journey.  But I'd like to be better toned and not have the percentage of body fat I'm currently carrying around.  For someone who hates to carry stuff, you'd think I'd be wanting to carry less around on my body, right? 

My back and ass are in really bad shape.  I knew it but I didn't know it was quite so bad. It was about 10pm at that point so I sat there and thought about it for a bit. I decided to restart again.  I went on to Sparkpeople.com, got myself logged on and set a calendar reminder for this morning to do weight and measurements along with a fitness test.  So here are my new goals. 

Adding in exercise water and vegetables daily.  30 minutes of exercise (might have to break that into sections) 8+ glasses of water and at least 3 veggies since I hardly ever eat any at all.  I feel like that's a good start for me.  Also, I'm going to push myself NOT to snack or eat sugar or salt that's not needed.  We'll see how this goes. 

Today's weight is 201.7 and my ass is 47 inches wide where that bruise is.  Holy fucking smacks!

Gardening for Beginners (I'm the beginner)

I would love to garden.  A couple of years ago my husband bought me rose bushes.  I spent hours keeping them maintained and they stayed beautiful for a few years until we moved.  Now I want to restart that time.  It gives me something to do while my son plays outside with his friends.  So I’m started a container garden.  We have a lot of ground hogs and squirrels that I just have to accept will be there; so container gardens make the most sense.  

I’ve been doing some research on it.  I think I’m going to start with a two or three flowers, tomatoes, peppers and herbs.  That’s it.  I don’t want to get over my head and not be able to maintain it all.  My first step is letting my neighbor know about my project because we share a fence and most of mine will be hanging from this fence onto my side of the yard.  Shouldn’t be a problem at all, but I like to keep folks enlightened.  

I don’t think I’ll get to a point where I’ll be wearing big ugly gardening hats and living off of my garden but I want to give it a shot and see what I can do.  Hopefully, this takes off.  I am definitely planning on getting my family involved a bit but mostly it’s just going to be for me.  Spending some time outside, getting dirty and getting Vitamin D.  

One Year of Goals

One year ago today, I joined a group of really special ladies to help support each other in our goals of weight loss and being healthy.  We wrote down on paper a list of our goals to be reached within the next year.  My list was typical of me.....housework, getting my family more organized, spending more time with kids actually doing things, becoming a better cook, etc.  Here's the list of goals I accomplished.

1. Huh?

Yup, that's right.  I didn't get one single goal completed.  In a freaking year?  Wow.....pretty pitiful, right?  Well, yeah it is.  But I have a reason.  None of those are real goals for me.  I think I have this goal to be Carol Brady but I'm more of a Peggy Bundy.  So today I decided to concentrate on renewing my list to obtainable goals with deadlines.  It'll be a boring day today at work, so I can work and still have my notebook sitting next to me thinking and thinking on how to make it happen.

So goal #1 is to just GET HEALTHY.  What's that mean?  What should I buy?  That means I need to take care of me.  I'm one of the leaders in my home as the parent.....I need to do this.  It means eating better but not going crazy with it.  It means treating my skin better.  It means working out a little and easing into a lot.  It means NOT doing a lot of crazy things like getting more excited that my son when I hear the ice cream truck.  It means taking my vitamins.  It means eating breakfast every day.

I'm actually texting with my hubby right now about helping me get up in the mornings.  I'm a morning person once I get my butt outta the dang bed.  I've come to understand that's one of my major errors every day.  On the days when I get up early, my intent for the day being a healthy one stays with me.  It seems that if I get myself into a healthy pattern, lots of other things will fall into place with that.  Hmmmmm.

Before & After Pictures - They Might Be Fake? What? Really?

I saw this story about Before and After Pictures in the fitness industry being bogus. Shocking, right? NOT!

Obviously I'm not bashing the fitness industry as a whole, there are lots of companies and people that really do care. I even have friends that sell these products. But I never see that much in the way of "hey, just eat these normal every day things from your local farmers market" or "do these exercises where you need no equipment or DVDs" ......it's always buy this shake, this vitamin, this supplement, this DVD, this set of weights, this book.

See? All this craziness in the fitness world.....this is why I'm so iffy on purchasing anything. I haven't personally met one person that has stuck with a weight loss program that I have seen for sale and never gained the weight back. I know it's an ongoing battle and struggle. I get that. I'm simply refusing to spend money on it anymore. I'm only losing weight in my wallet, not my big butt. I wish everyone the best and I'm not telling anyone else what to do......we all need support with this battle.

 But I need to do what I need for myself. This is about me and my battle, not the fitness industry and their wanting my money. Do they really care if I lose weight or if I just buy the newest thing?  No, what I need is a support system or a buddy.  A team of people that will do this on a daily basis with me and be serious about it every day.  A buddy that will let me push them as they are pushing me too.  Anyone want to apply for that job?  LOL.

I will continue to do the things I have found that work for me......I'm not buying anything else. No other products. I need to stick with all the things I have already bought and paid for that are still in wrappers or buried under dust. The biggest thing is just taking the time. Maybe the best thing I could purchase is an hour of my own time each day. ???? Hmmmmmm, why did that just sound like my own Ah Ha moment?

The Healthy Life Style (Don't stick your tongue at me)

Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil, Bob Harper, Kelly Ripa - these are just a few of the people that say all the time to lead a healthy life style to stay fit and active. I just don't know how to do this, where to start, how to get my family on board, and where in the hell do I find the time that doesn't include missing out on time my babies need from me, my job, my husband (who completely comes in last place....he's my rock) and not to mention adult time stuff like paying bills, cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc. I know realistically it's a matter of juggling the time and MAKING it happen. But when I'm being pulled in so many directions but using this body that can't quite keep up like it used to, it's really hard to start and keep it going no matter how good for me I know it's supposed to be. I just wind up stopping as many times as I start. Maybe a daily diary is an option, I heard this from a trainer.....Are you fucking kidding me? I can't find the time to dedicate to working out and now you not only want me to find the time for the workout but to write too? Oh, wait a second.....I'm writing right now, huh? OK, tonight before I put head to pillow, this is going into my iphone to help me set up reminders.....and the first one is to put the iphone across the bedroom so when my alarm goes off at 5am, I'll have to get out of bed to answer. Good Night World.

I Screwed It Up - But Not On Purpose

I did not begin my workout on the morning I thought I would. I didn't reset my alarm to get up at 5 instead of 6. Then I got my monthly visit from Aunt Flow, the first since switching from an IUD to the Depo shot. It's very heavy. It surprised me because I wasn't expecting it for another couple of weeks. It's ok, I'm just readjusting to start my new habit on Sunday, hopefully giving myself time to stop cramping so much. If not, I'll just have to work thru it. Supposedly, exercise is good for this. I'd rather it chocolate and potato chips, but hey, that's probably how I got so fat in the first place. But it did give me an idea to really do some research on the way I'd like to start eating and different exercises I'd like to do. There is a new show starting in a couple of weeks - The Revolution on ABC. I'll be watching daily as it's really meant to help people who want to live a happy and healthy lifestyle. That's what I want. So the first thing I learned was to use a home gym that doesn't have to be all expensive and complicated. They used a hula hoop, dumb bells, exercise ball and jump rope. I can afford that and do that too. Now to be perfectly honest, I can't hula hoop to save a life. BBBUUUUTTTTTT, the Nintendo Wii has the balance board game with the hula hoop game on there. I'm gonna do it Saturday (tomorrow), it might help out my cramps. LOL I have dumb bells and the ball, just no jump rope which is ok. I can't picture jumping rope in the house for exercise and then telling my 5 yr old that he can't do it. I'll use my invisible rope. It'll be fine and no noisy rope hitting the floor or tangling up into my legs causing me to fall down, breaking a bone which will force me once again to give up on my workouts. (I'm going to buy one tomorrow). SWAK/ANNA