Things That Irk My Nerves ~ Part 1

I'm having that sort of day when I just need to vent about stupid people.  If ignorance is bliss, that would explain so much.

• people that are mean to animals for fun.  
• lateness - not as in tardy, but people that catch on to shit after it's over
• postings - why do you think I'd believe your relationship with someone started over a year ago when you've had me meeting and speaking to various new boyfriends between then and now?  making it a significant event on Facebook doesn't zap the past out of the mind.  
• unanswered emails - it's rude.  it's like electronically ignoring my request to help you do your job.
• ego - I have one, too.  But the different between you and I is that I'm aware of mine.  I do think I'm the shit when I make achievements.  You make no achievements so that just makes you shit instead of The Shit.  
• you don't have to do what I'm asking you to do, but you should do what you said you would do.  
• don't stop in the middle if you're not going to get to the end ever. finish what you started or just don't start it. 

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH yes!!!!  Ok, I feel a bit better.  

Nerves of Marshmallow

So I submitted a video to work with a tv show today. I'm sort of torn between "Can I do this?" and "I can do this!" I applied a few months ago and actually had forgotten it. Not for any reason other than I never expected a return call. I really would like to do this.....but it's such a big deal. I don't know that I'd be able to handle the nasty things that could come with it. Or even the great things. lol. I know in the end this is probably my most confusing post to date. But I promise, when the time is right......I'll let you in on my secret. Of course, by that time, it may not be a secret anymore. LOL. I have a big mouth.

On to the nerves of marshmallow.....that title should say steel, huh? That's not me. I'm always a bundle of nerves but I mask it with giggles, smiles, and chattiness. There have been many, many times where I thought I would pass out from being so excited and nervous. It's one of those feelings that leaves you not quite sure how to follow through. I notice I also feel like it's a sign of weakness. If I'm not in control, then what do I have? As I'm getting older, it's becoming more interesting to watch myself and how I react to things. I love to watch things.....but I never used to watch myself.

Now I try to pay closer attention. If I notice myself backing off simply due to marshmallow nerves or being uncertain of something.....I simply reign in those feelings and push on. I'll never know what could be if I keep stepping back at every opportunity.

I took a big step this morning.