SlimPossible 226.7 lbs - May 10, 2020

I'm trying to keep myself positive.  But so many starts and stops on this weight loss journey are upsetting me.  I know exactly what to do except how to get out of my own way.  The only thing I can do is worry about today and plan for tomorrow because I have a dental appointment coming up.  Today is Sunday, May 10 and it's Mother's Day.  I didn't do much today because I let myself have today to do nothing.  I definitely earned this.  I felt guilty about it this afternoon, but that's because I know I could be doing better for myself.  It's about 9pm now and I'm ok with letting myself have an easy day. 

I took these photos below about 3 weeks or so ago.  My weight was 226.7 lbs.  I've lost about 3 lbs since then.  Not a huge loss but at least the scale is going in a direction I'm ok with for the moment.  LOL, I just noticed my face in the forward picture......gee I was a happy camper in that one.  LOL

Tomorrow, I'm going into work a bit early because I have to leave for an emergency dental appointment (cracked tooth ~ aaaggghhhh).  So I will either not be working out tomorrow or if I'm up for it, I'll at least walk home if I make it back to work.  It's kind of up in the air right now.   The worst-case scenario is I'll hit the exercise bike if my head doesn't explode in pain. 

I would normally have my food worked out for tomorrow but again, this is a dental thing so I'm just not quite sure what I should be doing and not doing.  I did work out a few smoothie and protein shake drinks to keep me going in addition to water and my beloved morning coffee.  I guess we'll see how it goes. 

I'll keep you posted......I'm not planning for Tuesday until tomorrow when I see how I'm feeling.  I will do my best to get my 30 minutes of exercise in for the day.  What are your plans for this week? 

My Promise to Me - Can I Keep It This Time?

Tomorrow is Saturday, January 26, 2019.

Today, I'm out of shape, I'm sore, I'm sick, I'm worn out, I'm sluggish.

Tomorrow I'll be all the same things I am today.

Tomorrow I just want to be a step or two closer to NOT being out of shape, sore, sick, worn out and sluggish.  I just got out of the bathtub.  I found out I couldn't really fit it in it.  Getting out was a struggle and I'm in actual pain now from getting myself out of that tub.  I'm way too fat.  I just weighed myself.  222 lbs.

My birthday was this past Monday, Jan 20.  I'm hoping I can use turning 48 at such an unhealthy weight and phase in my life into being the best 50-year-old me I can possibly be.  But I have some other goals I'd like to meet along the way.  In order to get there, I need to make some promises to myself.

This will be my 5 promises to me for every day.  Why?  Because I should be able to do this for myself.  Fuck the world, fuck the family.  I just don't want to be like this anymore.

1.  100 oz of water a day
2.  30 minutes of solid movement
3.  yoga / meditation
4.  eat what I need before I eat what I want
5.  my day planner

Let's see if I can do this.

Goal #1 - I want to be down to 200 lbs by April 30, 2019.  Once I can achieve that goal, we'll set up a new one for 190 lbs.  I ain't religious......but god help me.  LOL

I'm hoping that not just focusing on the weight loss will happen eventually.  But I feel like I'm always in pain and sluggish because of all the weight.  The movement and yoga and eating healthy will undoubtedly improve my overall health.......maybe it'll help with this funk I've been in for the last few months.  I need goals.  I'm listless and tired of myself.  New me, new tomorrow.....blah blah blah.  Fuck that.  I won't spend so much time whining......just get up and do it.......you know.....like Nike says. 

Mistakes Push You Forward

July 5, 2018

Last night, I made the mistake of noticing a bruise on my ass that hadn't faded from a week or so ago.  So I thought I'd be cheeky (is ass-cheeky a thing?) and send my husband a cute picture of my ass.  BIG mistake.  I hadn't realized how icky I looked on my ass.  So I did the whole check myself out in the mirror thing.  WTF was I thinking!

The overall quality of my skin, the stretch marks, the fatness.  None of that is appealing.  Now I'm not a screwball so I'm aware that the stretch marks are here to stay and could even get worse during this journey.  But I'd like to be better toned and not have the percentage of body fat I'm currently carrying around.  For someone who hates to carry stuff, you'd think I'd be wanting to carry less around on my body, right? 

My back and ass are in really bad shape.  I knew it but I didn't know it was quite so bad. It was about 10pm at that point so I sat there and thought about it for a bit. I decided to restart again.  I went on to Sparkpeople.com, got myself logged on and set a calendar reminder for this morning to do weight and measurements along with a fitness test.  So here are my new goals. 

Adding in exercise water and vegetables daily.  30 minutes of exercise (might have to break that into sections) 8+ glasses of water and at least 3 veggies since I hardly ever eat any at all.  I feel like that's a good start for me.  Also, I'm going to push myself NOT to snack or eat sugar or salt that's not needed.  We'll see how this goes. 

Today's weight is 201.7 and my ass is 47 inches wide where that bruise is.  Holy fucking smacks!